Previously on Game of Thrones – a few snippets of information long forgotten that don’t really matter but will come into play in this weeks episode anyway. You would pick them up as the show goes along as everyone loves to explain the situation for the layman but what the hey, here’s a few minutes of your life gone that’ll you’ll never get back.

Lots of troops to start with – all looking formidable, ready for action and fearsome. This could be boding well, all the action missing form last weeks offing could be taking place today. Pass the pouffe and crack open a can, this is it.  Turn up the volume, fix the ratio and put the television into widescreen  mode – No distractions, switch off your phones and lock all the doors.

Oh hey look it’s him from Black Sails, now that was a good show. Remember when…

Your not missing much, The Iron Bank is back discussing, unsurprisingly, money and Cersei looks almost as bored as you. She does however want to expand her armies but that’s okay because there is plenty of room in her sleevies …The painter has apparently finished his job on the big gratuitous map but knowing this lot his head might just be on a pike somewhere.

Bran has a new dagger, Littlefinger gave it to him. It’s important – he doesn’t care. Littlefinger tries to test the waters and play some of is patent pending mind games. Bran says very little and is somewhat emotionless – we are meant to se this as a change in him but as we have not spent that much time in his company we will have to take the eerie music’s word for it.

Back to Winterfell or is it The Wall. Everyone in the North seemed to be hanging about at the barrier to the frozen tundra but it seems people now congregate at Stark H.Q – who knew?! As the gate guards are Northmen they say fuck a lot but don’t really guard as much as they swear, probably for the best as Arya is off to the crypts, not be outdone Brandon finds it best to meet people by the spookiest tree ever!

The cave full of Dragonglass just happens to have some lovely inspiring pictures in it to help sway Daenerys to Jon Snow’s view point, handy that. Out of the gloomy depths it’s a good news – bad news kinda of situation but unfortunately neither the dwarf or spider have the sense to portray it as such.

To make up for it everyone’s favourite assassin likes to show off, this little hell cat doesn’t take anything lying down. Oh yeah Bran gave her the fancy dagger and it is Valyrian steel, Chekhov’s gun eat your heart out.

This is it.

Absolute spectacle. Impressive doesn’t do the following justice: Show and razzamatazz, glitz and glamour, style with a healthy dashing of substance. All mixed in with a pleasing dollop of Bronn’s humour and daring-do. Men might shit themselves when they die but what about when faced with a Dothraki horde?

The build up was special; the hooves in the distance like the faint sound of thunder, the frantic cries for shields and spears, the crescendo of music, the blood curdling war cries from the savages AND THAT ENTERANCE.

And the promise of things to come.

Close combat, death from above. Blazing men running from battle, horse back archery, shield walls. A thumping soundtrack and a bloody great big dragon with a pretty lady astride spewing fire everywhere. This action scene had it all. Just when you thought you had seen everything Bronn takes on the giant wyrm, downing it in the process.

Not to be outdone Ser Jamie then charges it out his trusty stead.

Someone pass the brown paper bag – I need to calm down.



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