Once upon a time the typing was easy, words came unbidden to my finger tips. My thoughts flew like wasps, the synapsis fired and sparks flew. Nowadays my brain resembles a dusty aged office complete with creaky red Chesterfield and crackling hearth.
I can summon up the wherewithal to write a post about The Walking Dead every now and again, I can… I can… I can stare vacantly into space and listen to music and I can just about keep a paid job under my belt. What happened? Wasn’t there a time when I was… I was something, I forget.
I also digress, I’m good at that. The point been that I’m struggling for new ideas. I need a blast from the past, something to get me going, something to excite me all over again. I’m not an idiot, so what do I do?
Simple, I purchase a Mega Drive classic game console!! A game console with 80 built in games!! I am in delirium, 80 games!! I can’t wait!! I click to confirm the order, sit back and rock back and forth on my chair in anticipation.
Two days now and still no sign of my nostalgia trip. In my attempt to stave off the boredom I read the Pizza Hut menu I have received also I flick idly through the yellow pages. So not a total loss then…
Four days still no sign. The mould congregating above the shower head could do with a clean though.
6 days in and good news!! The postman has made his rounds. Bad news, I wasn’t in and now have to go all the way to the post depot which happens to be an hours walk from my flat.
I don’t drive.
I don’t like getting the bus.
And it’s cold, stupidly cold.
Sometimes I suspect God is taking the piss.
I trudge my weary towards my destination, my head down as the wind buffets my progress. The cars stream past, mocking me with their central heating and perambulation. I seethe at their arrogance and plod ever forward.
It is still cold.
At last, and in all her glory, the end is nigh. My pace increase as the temperature raises with it. A welcoming light gleam in the office as I purposefully stride inside.
Hum, we don’t seem to have that on file. What’s your address again?
I know a test when I see one, I can handle this.
Please, do not trouble yourself to read the card I have presented with my address on it. I have no qualms about reciting my abodes whereabouts out loud just for your satisfaction.
That seems to be all in order now, if you just let me check the system. One second…
Oh the system seems to be down. Modern technology, eh?
If you just hold on a- Ah here we go. I’ll just go and get your letter.
Parcel, it is a parcel.
It says here that it is a-
I promise you it’s a parcel.
I’ll go and have a look shall I?
A good five minutes have ticked by before the desk monkey returns with my parcel.
Ah turns out it was a-
Indeed, good day.
With that I am gone. The road seems quieter, the wind has dissipated, the energy has returned to my legs. I want to return home and play Sonic! Golden Axe! Mortal Kombat! Columns!! Alas no Streets of Rage though…
It’s been 3 days now and I’ve still not unpacked my new toy. Something came up, I think… there was a reason, I hope. I grasp at the gossamer threads of my memory… Now where was I…