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I have decided that the topic for today will be my hopes for a Wheel of Time film.

I’m pretty positive that this mammoth undertaking is possible, obviously the storyline would have to be trimmed. Characters relegated to the background or dropped completely. Done properly we would have a series of films to rival The Lord of the Rings, done without the necessary budget and attention to detail and we would have another In the Name of the King. If you have not seen Uwe Bolls’s offering I advise extreme caution, It is without doubt one of THE worst films I have ever had the misfortune to watch. There is this one bit when…

So all we need is a studio willing to back the undertaking to the hilt and some canny editing of the source material.

Remember just because it works in book form does not mean it would work on screen.

1: Get rid of the Seanchan, well after Toman Head. All they do is clog up the story, bloating the already swollen tome. Granted it would make Tarmon Gai’don slightly different but that is all. The whole Mat/Daughter of the Nine Moons thing is also needless, not all the main characters need to settle down and grow up!

2:Cut down on Rand’s dalliances. Is three women in his life really needed? I never bought into that when I was loosing myself in Jordan’s epic masterpiece . Fair enough two women, muddy the waters of his perception a bit and generally fuck things up but three?? I don’t get it and even if there is a logical explanation I missed(there isn’t) a trio of beauties would not be needed on the big screen. Who to get rid of? I vote Aviendha, she can still be in it but just not as a main character.

3: Does the White Tower really need to have its schism? Okay maybe it does but not to the degree it did, don’t have the rebels leaving to form their own tower. How about them running amok in Tar Valon, challenging Elaida via some thrilling guerrilla warfare. The end result would be the same, it would be more exciting and would cut down the run time considerably.

4:The Shaido storyline could be cut back dramatically along with Perrin and co wandering aimlessly about the land searching for them, it was at this point that… YAWN

5: Basically less from Egwene and Nynaeve. It was Rand, Mat and Perrin’s story and the girls just got in the way. I’m not saying get rid of them just lets not focus on them. I seem to recall a whole section where Nynaeve joins the circus. I’m pretty sure that could be cut with no real detriment to the overall narrative.

Incidentally I Googled Egwene to check the spelling of her name, the first option it gives is Egwene al’Vere and the second is Egwene annoying and that pretty much sums it up.

So what do you think? Who should be go the route of Tom Bombadil and vanish without a trace? Is there a specific moment you would love to see on celluloid? Or do you think I have given in to the taint of Saiden and need to be gentled post haste.

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