Ladies and gentlemen, the Kinks (applause)
I wont sing, don’t worry. I am thinking of the days though, days when everything was bright and wonderful and the only problem you faced was; “either go outside or stay in.” After all you’re not allowed to constantly change your mind…
So with that in mind here are my top 5 things that just don’t seem as fun anymore.
1. Jumping in puddles: Come on you all loved it and if like me you were lucky enough to have green wellies with little frog eyes on them, well a fifteen minute walk could turn into a two hour marathon. Every puddle became a new adventure, with an amphibious beast rising from the depths. Nowadays if I jump in a puddle I get told to grow up or if no one is about I just get wet feet.
2. Dinner time: Six o’clock sharp, everyday. What new culinary delight would it be? Excitement and trepidation were mixed together. It might be fish fingers and beans or it might be the dreaded cauliflower cheese again. These days dinner is just a chore, spending all day trying to come up with something other than pizza to eat, apparently a sandwich is not a viable option.
3.Staying up past your bedtime: Granted no one is telling me when to go to bed but like all of you I have a specific time when I know I SHOULD be in bed. Otherwise the next morning is going to be greeted with bleary eyes and a general resentment of everyone and everything. When I was younger staying up late was a new and heady experience and the next day was greeted with a spring in the step and a smile on the face. These days I just wake up and think “I’m going to be paying for that by lunchtime”
4.Birthdays: These days all I can think of is “one year closer to death” but normally it is followed up by “soon, the peace of the grave” and that releases some much needed endorphins.
5.Days off: Mainly because there is no longer such a concept. There is work and days when you are not at work. The second of these must be spent doing chores around the house or worse yet, shopping. A visit to an elderly relative is also a distinct possibility. Days off? Ha, don’t make me laugh!