Last night I went to the cinema. Not in itself  particularly unusual, in fact I’m at my local Googleplex on a regular basis. No, this time was unusual for the what I saw and I don’t mean RoboCop!

Let me set the scene. Tickets had been purchased in a timely manner and I was seated comfortably, impatiently waiting for the lights to dim and the trailers begin. I decide to make use of this free time by taking part in one of my favourite pastimes, people watching. Or for the uninitiated-been nosy.    This all took place in screen four, if you are interested.


As i glanced about my gaze was drawn to the two gentlemen a few rows in front of me and to my total incredulity one of them was chowing down on a sandwich!!! This raised all manner of questions. Firstly,  who eats a sandwich at the cinema??  Closely followed by, how the hell did he get it in?? Smuggling in some chocolate raisins, while a nerve racking experience is easily achieved. Sandwich’s though? That is a whole new ball park! The final question, hot on the heels of the first two, where do i get my sandwich and can i choose the filling??

Sadly none of the answers to these quandaries was supplied and by the time the projectionist got his act together and actually started the reel I had put them to the back of my mind to focus on some not-quite-as-good-as- the-original-robot-police-action.


With the credits rolling I choose to stay seated and enjoy the warblings of Strummer and co, bizarrely not everyone one else made this call but that was their loss. One couple however did and as i passed them i glanced over to give a head nod in mutual appreciation and nearly stopped dead in my tracks, as resting on the seat beside them was a book!!!! A BOOK!! It was too much!! Having  not quite recovered from the sandwich incident this new unexplained occurrence left me disorientated and reeling and  I fled the seen of this new misdemeanor to find safety and solitude in my car.

Leaving the car park my destination was clear, Tesco. As i really fancied a sandwich of my own, cheese and onion please.


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